What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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your mum

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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