What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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eh

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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david what a baghead

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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