A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops