Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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Prostitution is bad.......

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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