What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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