A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

thumb_up thumb_down -13

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

thumb_up thumb_down -13

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ask me if i am a tree. no.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops