How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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