How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

Robert Mugabe.

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

a dyslexic man walked his god.

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

What do you give hobos? Febreeze

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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