What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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