Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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Everybody will die

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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