An Irishman walks out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

69.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

alert("Hello");

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops