Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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