What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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