how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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