what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops