If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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No soup for you!

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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