what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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like if your cool

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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haha

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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