What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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alert("Hello");

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God wrote this joke.................................

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops