Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

Facebook How i met my mother

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...