Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Women's Rights.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops