What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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