Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

Can midgets still have big dreams?

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

I literally died laughing

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

Christ is a conspiracy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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