Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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which one is easiest

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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