What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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