Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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