Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Women's rights

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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