How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what goes woof ? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops