a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you know the muffin man? No

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops