Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops