How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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