Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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