So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops