What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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willam dafoe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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