Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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all the kids had fun

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Poker face

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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