Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's your guys names?

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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You'er moma is so stupied that she climbed over the glass window to see what on the other side

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Whats funny and has 2 wheels The holocaust, I lied about the wheels, and the funny

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

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j.p. is dumb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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