how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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Skinny people fart less.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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