How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops