What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

Why did the fish fly It didn't

whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

Barack Obama is a good president.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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