Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

a man checks his mypsace

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

Hey

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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