Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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Rylan Clark

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops