Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Huh, I never succeeded in any of those, and I tried a lot. Please tell me you never gone with something nasty like that...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the zebra cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops