Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

If life hands you lemons, take them they taste good

NASCAR being considered a sport.

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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