this is not a drill.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

What is a jew in space? Dead

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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