A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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dyslexic's Untie

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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Face Hunter is scum

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That is so fetch

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops