What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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why couldn't the man open the window? he had no hands due to his time serving the USA in vietnam

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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8===D

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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