What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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what are three short words? i a am

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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