What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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black people

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One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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Liverpool City Football Club

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops