Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Question :how many does an episode of Power Rangers show the power rangers face answer I'm not that big with power rangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops