What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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