A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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