Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Manchester City

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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