Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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Knock knock Shut up

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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